I once saw a birthday card with a picture of a small hippopotamus on it executing a 180° rotation, and underneath it said: mini hippo returns. Made me laugh.
Anyway, it’s time for the annual it’s-my-birthday post (now in its seventh great year!), given that I am now as old as Christ. Well, I am according to the book Hannibal, anyway; the age of Jesus is somewhat murky and disputed, and clearly he didn’t exist anyway which makes speculation somewhat pointless. I am now one third of the way to my telegram from the Queen (which I am gratified to discover still happens when you hit one century of age), and according to the Death Clock I’m more than halfway to being dead (which rather puts the kibosh on the whole telegram thing). In the last year:- I’ve left a job in a law firm and started a job in a radio company
- I’ve split up from my wife (although we remain good friends; am going drinking with her this evening, in fact)
- I’ve been to America (twice) and Ireland and Holland
- I’ve lived in Jono’s spare room and then come back to my house (which I still can’t sell)
In the last month:
- I’ve left the job at the radio company and started a job at Canonical
- I’ve eaten caviar for the first time
- I’ve rekindled friendship with someone I haven’t seen for years
- I’ve booked tickets to go to Hacking At Random in August
In the last day:
- I’ve eaten way too much bangers and mash
- I’ve started thinking about server-side JavaScript web frameworks in a decent way
- I’ve looked at CouchDB and thought about how to use it
- I’ve written to my MEP
In the last hour:
- I’ve smoked five cigarettes
- I’ve become 33 years old
Here’s to another twelve months. Cheers.

Yes, *ahem*, clearly, err. Clearly we are very clever to have such great minds clearly explaining to us.
> I’ve started thinking about server-side JavaScript web frameworks in a decent way
Just like Netscape Enterprise Server in 1999 ?
Been there, done that
Happy birthday! Now to see if you can outlive Jesus ftw. Do you think He was disappointed not to live long enough to get a telegram from the emperor?
I do believe he got enough from the emperor; the nails probably were sufficient (but not necessary)…
As it’s your birthday, I’ll ignore the “Jesus didn’t exist” comment for another day.
Hope you have a great day, and get lots of luvly prezzies
I feel obliged to point out that it is, sadly, unlikely that your telegram (hoping you get to the point of receiving one) will be from the Queen (long may she live, &c &c). It’ll almost certainly be from a King.
mrben: as per comment on your site, I’d be disappointed if you didn’t take the opportunity to tell me why I’m wrong
Adam: could be Queen Eugenie 67 years from now
happy one, sir!
Yes, mini hippo returns. I do so hope that you do get your telegram, young fellow!
Happy birthday!
Aq: ah – that’s true. I’ll keep it short:
1. No serious historian these days debates the existence of Jesus as a historical figure. How much the historical reality matches the mythic (in the true sense) character is another question.
2. If Attenborough in his defense of evolution can cite the quantity of source material compared to that of William the Conqueror (in the Independent on Saturday, and I assume in the TV show last night), then I will cite the quantity and quality of source material too (which is the main reason for (1) ).
There’s plenty of stuff on Wikipedia should you want to do some further research
mrben: well, OK, I don’t dispute the existence of the historical Jesus. However, since he was just an ordinary guy, how old he was at death is pretty irrelevant, no? If I’d said “I’ll be as old as Tacitus” no-one would care
A belated “Happy Birthday”!
aq: since when did the phrase “clearly he didn’t exist anyway” not constitute a dispute of existence?
mrben: if I’d have written “He” would the denial have made more sense?